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A question about appropriate play


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mr.coffee

Harley and I have this thing we do, sort of a defiant stand against those who say, 'You can't play with your dog the way another dog plays with your dog' when advocating expanding the dog collection. Basically, we rough-house, we bow, we chase each other, we growl and bark, we huff and puff, we bat our paws at each other, and he goes to town trying to eat my hand and arm while I push him around and try to roll him over and we both make a bunch of noise. I'm the only person he does this with.

While for now, this is a special kind of play that only Daddy does, I do have a small concern that he may someday try to play this way with some unsuspecting person and get himself in a bind. He really does get mouthy, I have to stay on my toes. It's not that he wants to hurt me, I can sense the restraint. But when a Shih Tzu's wrapping his teeth around your hand and trying to shake it, well, you know. Ya feel it. Now, he never goes for anything but my hand or arm, in fact if my face or somebody else's hand, for example, gets too close he sort of stops and does his, 'hey, what's the big idea?' look.

I suspect I already know the answer, but need to be told. Is this sort of play okay? Or is it really better that I stop this?

-m

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Claudiabehr

Sorry, Mike, it's time to stop it. In theory one would think babydog would not generalize this behavior to other people/dogs, but in fact, this is not true. You not only are abandoning your position as Alpha, which I believe is a mistake to do with these little beauties who already have a stubborn streak, but you're setting a precedent for what is okay in the way of play. He will take this lesson with him and use it with other dogs and people he meets and will make himself not very popular very quickly. It would be a sad thing for him to experience the consequence of this.

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Mike, I think you can keep doing 'fun' things..just maybe not this one.. I mean Payslee has a night-time game that only I play with her, where I bury her in a blanket..she jumps, lunges, and dances around.. Its her night time ritual to play 'blanket game'..She bites the blanket, but never me..She loves to be buried, and race up and fights the blanket..but never me..so thats a game that should someone ever try to play it with her (which she won't play with anyone else, but if she did) they wouldn't get hurt..Can you do something fun like that maybe for just Daddy and Harley?

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Yep, I better chime in here....Mike, I too have had a game similar with Josie. It is always on our bed and she does a kinda growl thing and like you, she kinda dodges in and out of my arms, I lean over the bed, grab her and roll her over, she growls and comes back for more....she had NEVER snapped or used her teeth, but the growl, which I NOT like any I have heard her use with others or other dogs...then, I grab her and pull her around while I lay over her, kinda like a pin, but she kinda does a "I give in" kinda growl and then goes limp....MOMMA WINS !!!

BUT, I have TOTALLY stopped this now...I have realized it is just not good, even tho alpha won in the end....you see, when Rudy came to join us, hopefully you have seen the videos of him and Josie, well one night he was barking like a crazy dog at her and she was growling and snarling at him, and I couldn't help but intervene. I leaned down on the floor and reached for Rudy and Josie actually snapped at ME....I DID pin her that time and of course she went like a limp dishrag...she KNEW she had done wrong. Thankfully, she didn't connect or touch me, but scared the wadden out of me.....so I decided, NO more rough play and NO more encouraging the growl that was so fun and playful. I was in a panic for a couple of days over it thinking it was all my fault and I was a really bad tzu mom....but I came to my senses and just made the decision that I MAY have contributed to the situation....so now when we play, in a totally different way, IF I hear ANY growl (when playing with me, not the other dogs), I immediately say "no-no" and STOP all play.

I hope I am at least helping to right a wrong....

I will miss it, cause we did have such fun and like you, I could just tell she knew NOT to connect or be rough and it was all a game. I was NEVER fearful of her, but after that night, I realized she COULD have connected, even tho it was a "reaction" when I came between them.

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mr.coffee

Yeah, that was more or less how I was starting to feel, just a gut-level feeling that hey, as much fun as this is seeing him all riled up, maybe it's a bad idea, and it kinda developed into a hey, what if he gets a whim to play like this with someone who isn't into it or up to it? 'S why I said I suspected I knew the answer already...

-m

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Yup, you knew the answer.

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Mike, you sound like my husband! He has this game he plays with Odie that get Odie all wound up. He growls and bits at his hands which he tucks up into his sleeve. Play go on and on and Odie loves it! I have been trying to get him to play another way with him for fear that he won't know that that is just a play for those too and not with the grandkids. It's tough I know because it must be a "man thing"!

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My husband played exactly like that with our Lhasa for her entire life and she never played that way with anyone else. she sort of played rough with me but not as hard. She never had the desire to play that rough and mouthy with anyone else. Just wanted to put out there that right or not it won't necessarily turn out bad.

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Ozzy'sMommy

oz and i used to play like that all the time too...but then he was getting mouthy with my mom and my sis and not that they minded but i didn't want him to start going after my nieces and nephews hands. so now we just let him attack his stuffed toys and he tried to kill his blankets when i'm folding them in the morning. also every weekend when i wash the bedding on my bed he likes to try to run under each layer as i put it on the bed...it's pretty funny.

though now that i think about it our pit/dane mix used to play like that with my dad and my older brother...he never went after the rest of us but i think it's better safe than sorry.

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