Jump to content

Luca is going back to his foster mommy


Infamousmare

Recommended Posts

Infamousmare

I cried on and off all night last night.  I couldn't sleep and I felt (still do) sick to my stomach.   I am so heartbroken, but this is the right thing for everyone.  

Last night was pretty bad - so bad that Luca bit both my husband and me.  He spent several hours in an agitated state - barking, growling, snarling and lunging at us.  He was jumping up on chairs and snarling/jumping out at my husband and me, he wouldn't let us sit on the couch, when we got him into his safe spot (his pen) with toys, he snarled and bit at the bars, he lunged and snarled several times when I tried to get him outside for his potty walk, we had to have the kids in their rooms because he was lunging and snapping at them even if they walked through an adjacent room (he'd run in and go after them)...it was a really awful night.  We were finally able to gently corral him into his crate, where he continued barking and snarling at the door.    The kids are afraid of him.  My husband, who really has the patience of a saint, put his foot down and said that we cannot risk our children getting hurt.  

I contacted the Humane Society and they immediately said that in these situations, they do not want families with small children to keep adopted dogs (they won't allow it) - the risk is too high and they do not want these dogs labeled as "biters".   They are being so kind about the whole thing and were upset that I didn't contact them sooner.  Not upset...I think surprised is more the word.   I thought that since he was "our" doggy, I was supposed to do everything I could to try to keep him.   I really did my best.   I keep telling myself that, but I feel like a total failure.  

I've been watching his cues and I can clearly see that he is not happy here.  Even though my kids aren't rough or loud, they make him very uncomfortable.   His foster mom is coming to get him on Saturday and she said she thinks she'll probably keep him forever - he did well in a home with an adult, surrounded by other small dogs.   Everyone here has been so helpful to me in trying to figure out how to best care for our little guy - I can never thank you enough for all of your advice, your support and your patience with my constant questions.  

I know this is what is best, but my heart is broken in pieces.

 

  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites
Pawz4me

I'm so sorry!

I understand the heartbreak, but you ARE doing the right thing.  For you and for him.  The current situation is miserable for your family and for him, and that's not good for anybody.

Hang in there and don't give up.  The right dog for your family is out there somewhere, and you will find him/her eventually!

{{{{ hugs }}}}

  • Like 6
Link to post
Share on other sites
Missysmom

Oh I am sooo sorry Mary. You absolutely have and are doing the right thing, you certainly tried everything and are far from a failure. Please don't beat yourself up, you tried everything, but you cannot put yourself and your family at risk. Everyone, including Luca, will be happier and safer with this arrangement.

Our hearts are breaking with yours, you are part of our family here.

Please stay in touch and let us know when your perfect pup joins your lovely family, and it will! You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs

  • Like 5
Link to post
Share on other sites
Marlene

You are doing the right thing.....for all of your family and for Luca.  I know your heart is broken and your feeling like you failed.  You did not!  Very few people would have tried as long as you did.

I hope you'll get some updates on him and if he can settle in with the foster Mom......we can all learn (especially me as I am new to Shih Tzu rescue) more about the breeds' temperament and where they are most happy.

Understanding Hugs.

Edited by Marlene
  • Like 7
Link to post
Share on other sites
Infamousmare

Thank you so much.   I still feel awful and I keep thinking that this might work, but again tonight, Luca got upset at potty walk time and started in growling and baring his teeth.   He's just not happy.  

I really love this breed, especially after having the pleasure of knowing Luca.   Perhaps in a few years we'll try again with another Shih Tzu.   The HS director was so kind - she said we can try another dog; however, we are just not ready.   Luca was our fur-ever doggy and none of us feel like we want to "replace" him.   However, I think in time, we may decide to try to find a reputable Shih Tzu breeder (I don't even know how to do that, so expect me to pop up again in the future asking more stupid questions!).  

In the meantime, the kids and I have decided to view this next week as us simply puppy-sitting for Luca until his mommy comes back.   It will help us make the transition and helps the kids feel more at ease about keeping their distance.   He is a great dog - he just needs a home that's a great fit.   <3

  • Like 5
Link to post
Share on other sites
Summerangel

Oh dear I'm so sorry. But like everyone else I KNOW the right decision has been made, for everyone. Good luck for the next few days, it won't be easy. But it's the right thing. 

Hugs to you all  ((( )))

  • Like 5
Link to post
Share on other sites
Yvonne

I agree with everyone else, you did all you could, this way is better for both of you, but I can imagine how difficult this must be. 

Hugs  

 

  • Like 5
Link to post
Share on other sites
Crinkly

I am soooo sorry, but you know you have tried your very best, and you know this is the best thing for him.

HUG!!!

  • Like 6
Link to post
Share on other sites
PipsMom

I'm so sorry but you have done the correct thing and one day you can accept that without guilt. You did your best and that's commendable...well done.....Her problems were just too deep seated in her to change and nothing you could have done was going to help and.... to return her to her foster mother was the kindest thing you could ever do for him .

Bless you and your family....you gave it your all....just think of this as practice for the one you will get one day, even though I wish it would be sooner for the children's sake....they need to know not all dogs are that way and not grow up with a fear of them.

Please stay with our family here...we love talking to you and would miss you terribly if you didn't stop by. Look at it as a investment for your future puppy with all the knowledge you'll learn.

Edited by PipsMom
  • Like 9
Link to post
Share on other sites
Sophie's Haven

This is best for you, your family and Luca.........you did your best and it is understandable when children are involved. I am not familiar with rules of placing rescues with animal shelters but the Shih Tzu rescues that I have worked with do not allow any of their paws to go to homes where there are children. When I did home visits I had a 4 page check list that had to met 99.9% and no children and no smoking was a definite must. A lot of these paws only do well in an adult home.......even if we had allow Bailey to be adopted while he was in our foster care he would have been returned before they got out the driveway. For whatever reason they just do not do well in certain settings to which was no fault of yours.......you did your best. One day when your ready and wonderful paw will come into your lives.......your a member of this Shih Tzu Family even if you end up with a St. Bernard.......so stay with us!!!!!!!!!!

Edited by Sophie's Haven
  • Like 9
Link to post
Share on other sites
Sunlite

So sorry that you had this experience, but sometimes even though we want things to work out, they don't. Thank you for giving him the chance to begin with, and know that what you are doing is best for all involved.
Maybe, after some time passes, you'll try again for another Tzu. They really are loving babies....
Please also, stay with us, please don't feel like you need to leave...
My heart goes out to you and your family....

  • Like 7
Link to post
Share on other sites
Marlene

How about a goofy, velcro, happy, loves everybody - especially kids, lap dog?

Fair warning......the last line in one of my old Boxer books "Boxers may be too much fun for some families".

 

Legacy Boxer Rescue
www.savetheboxers.com

Austin Boxer Dog Rescue
austinboxerrescue.com

Lone Star Boxer Rescue
www.lonestarboxerrescue.com

Texas Boxer Rescue
boxer.rescueme.org/Texas

Houston Boxer Rescue
www.houstonboxerrescue.org

 

  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites

You are indeed doing the right thing for both Luca and your family.  I know you are heartbroken, but - again - you ARE doing the right thing!  Where are you located, Dear?  I often have Breeder friends who are retiring Chs. from their breeding programs and looking to place them in wonderful "furever" homes and these dogs always have stellar temperaments.  I just placed one yesterday for a friend, actually.

  • Like 11
Link to post
Share on other sites
Infamousmare

You guys are so sweet!   <3

Luna - I am in North Texas.    BTW - if you ever need assistance with a Shih Tzu rescue for whatever reason, the Sound Beginning program is based out of Chicago.   I can't say enough about them - free of charge, they are helping me through this week just to keep Luca calm and less agitated until his foster mom comes back.   <3

We have 2 neighbors with Shih Tzus and those doggies are the most lovable, snuggle-able babies ever.   One in particular LOVES kids.  Her family lives across from our neighborhood park and Cinnamon always romps over for hugs and kisses.   She just runs from kid to kid, wagging her tail and licking faces.   I realize that this is not what every dog will do, but it's certainly more in line with what I'd imagined.    Potty accidents, jumping, barking, digging....all of these were behaviors I expected and was ready and willing to deal with.   Aggression is just something I never thought about in a Shih Tzu.   I knew Luca was a rescue and had a not-so-wonderful past, but I think I was naive in thinking everything would be fine, especially since he was listed as being good with kids.    

I love the breed.  The are adorable, smart, stubborn, loving...they definitely know who they are and are confident in their cuteness.   Someday, perhaps, we'll try again with another Shih Tzu.   

Thanks for letting me stay.   I'll just lurk around admiring all of your adorable photos, reading the great articles and gleaning helpful information so that next time (if there is one), I'll be super prepared!   :)

  • Like 9
Link to post
Share on other sites
sophie1985

ohh so sorry you seem like such a good person, This is not your fault at all. Every shih tzu i met on the street was super friendly and sweet. I think them and king charles cavalier are the nicest most mellow small dogs out there. So its very surprising but it has lot to do with upbringing. I don't have any kids but my Sophie is obsessed with them stops to get kisses from all the kids and always runs up to them. I'm guessing it's cause my breeder had little grandkids and it stuck with her. Dont give up on having your dream dog. I was dumb to wait 13 years before i got one. Should have done it years ago. Find good breeder if u have to. Shih tzus are amazing

  • Like 5
Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...