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The house feels so empty...


Infamousmare

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Infamousmare

Luca is no longer here and the house feels so empty.    I was not happy about bringing him to the adoption event; however, it went SO much better than I could ever have imagined.   First of all, his foster met me with a hug and immediately took me into the air-conditioned trailer to put him in a crate, where I said goodbye and left him with his favorite towel and doggie bed.   He is NOT up for adoption right now.     She and one of the other fosters sat down with me to go over all of his behaviors and they immediately said they need to observe him and update his profile.   Apparently, when a dog is given back, the profile automatically goes back up; however, she said that any inquirers are told that he's not available at the moment.     They agree that he should NOT be going into a home with kids and that they'll be keeping him for awhile before deciding if he should be re-homed or just stay with the foster.  

She was very eager to learn more about the Sound Beginning program (I just can't say enough good things about them!).   I was confused, as these were not the vibes I was getting all week.  She explained that they are inundated with emails and that it's hard to keep contact that way - they prefer to go over these things in person.   I asked her to please just let people know this because it is SO easy to think the worst, esp. when concerns appear to be glossed over via email/text or when calls are not returned.  

Of course, I broke down several times.   I love that little guy.   I want him to be happy.   I want him not to be stressed or grumpy.   It didn't help that he cried and yelped all the way there.  :_(

She said that we are making the best decision, that she feels we went above and beyond what we needed to do and that we're always welcome to adopt another dog from them free of charge.   Of course, I am just not there yet - Luca was our forever doggy.   I actually miss him (though I do not miss his aggressive little tantrums!).   I think it's going to take some time to get out of the routine we'd built.   I wonder how many times I'll put my shoes on for a potty walk or reach for his bag of FreshPet at dinner time before I remember that he's not here.  

Aaaaand now I'm crying again.  

 

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Missysmom

Ooh Mary I'm all teary eyed over here with you. Bless your heart, I know that had to be the hardest thing doing that today, you've been on my heart all day. 

But it was absolutely the right thing and I am sooo happy to hear it went so well and that they Listened. You did so much trying to make this work and, for whatever reason, that was not in The Plan. Man how many times have we wished we knew that plan, right?!

I absolutely know, deep in my heart, that the perfect pup, is out there just waiting for you and your wonderful family to find him or her. And you will. I am also sure that somehow, in some way, you will have learned something from this whole experience that will help you when you find your special, perfect pup.

Please know, we're all here for you, we've all been through some sort of loss of a pup and really do know the loss you feel. You, your family and Luca stay in my prayers. Hugs.

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PipsMom

I thought about you and Luca all yesterday...such a sad story for a troubled little boy....I pray he gets the help he needs.

Sending you :pash: as I know your heart is breaking at your loss. All your friends are here gathered around you here if you need a shoulder to just vent or be sad. ❤️

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ShihTzusAreCute

I followed your story from the beginning, I am so sorry you had to go through this I can only imagine how hard it must be, even if it is the best thing for Luca.Like everyone else said, we are here to listen and be supportive.

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Sophie's Haven

Tears I think are shared by all of us.........this little guy was in all of our hearts. Sounds like maybe Luca will be placed in the proper setting just made for him with guidance and structure. One day the perfect paw will fall into your laps when you lease expect.....but for now be a peace for Luca (you will never forget him for sure, he will always have a place in your heart) but also remember you now have a circle of friends that are here for you to listen and be supportive and most of all not afraid to voice their opinions.

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Sunlite

So sorry you had to have this experience but you did the right thing for both your family and him. I'm happy that things worked out where you got to talk one on one about the whole thing and you were able to have closure and feel better about the rescue.

Some people are ready after a short time and some need a longer period before they're ready for another but you'll know...

Don't forget we're here for you...

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Crinkly

I've been away for the weekend, so couldn't post, but was thinking about you yesterday, and wondering how it had gone.

good news that they seem to be taking you seriously!  That must be such a relief.

and yes, i agree with everyone, it is time that will help you the most, and then one day, without even realising it, you will be ready to move on.

how are the kids doing?

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Marlene

They wrap those little paws around so quickly.....Luca will leave his footprints there  It's amazing how claim spaces in your house and you still catch yourself saying...."don't knock over the water dish, don't leave the door open, have to get home, it's dinner time.  Even the car seems empty with no little face peering out the window or snoozing as you run errands.

The time will come, when you least expect it but you will be experienced and prepared next time.

Hugs

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Infamousmare

Thank you so much for all of your kind thoughts and words.   

I have to tell you...the kids are not sad.   It was a real eye-opener for me, as my kids all cry when the dogs we babysit for go home and they sobbed when they first found out that Luca was going to have to go back to his foster mom.   I was shocked to see that, when I returned home last night, they were all fine.   Today, they've been fine.   They can talk about Luca without getting emotional (unlike my husband and me, who are still sad!).    I think that between having a week to say our goodbyes and begin to pretend as though we were just taking care of him until his foster mother came back helped.   Also, my kids were becoming more and more afraid of him as he continued to growl, lunge and nip at them.   My youngest said today that she "never want(s) another doggy ever again".  It makes sense.  Her only experience with a pet was with dog who constantly nipped at her heels and jumped up to snap at her face.   For the first time today, she was able to walk through the kitchen without tiptoeing past the dog crate & pen.  I hadn't realized how much this affected her.    :_(    That will take some time for her to forget.    My middle guy shares her sentiments - today was the first time he didn't have to ask where Luca was before coming through the baby gate at the entrance to his hallway.   My oldest is relieved that she won't have to worry about him nipping her hands or growling at her.  She was so upset that he "didn't like" her.   I knew we had a problem, but until the problem was removed, I was blind to just how bad it had gotten.   
  Luna hit the nail on the head awhile back - I was making excuses for some pretty bad behavior while trying my darndest to make it work.   I didn't want to be the deadbeat who gave up on a poor, innocent dog.   

He is with a different foster who lives alone and has no other dogs in her home at the moment.  She texted to get some info regarding his microchip and we chatted for a minute.  She said he's doing "great" and she's seen no bad behavior.   Of course, I immediately second-guessed myself but my husband quickly reminded me that he had been privy to ALL of the same behaviors I'd seen and said there is no way in Hades he's not going to begin to display them at some point.   He's likely stressed, sleeping a lot and on his best behavior right now.   

I'm happy he's with a foster who can give him all of her undivided attention and won't have any kids around to agitate him.   I sincerely hope he has a great life.  <3

Edited by Infamousmare
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Amy0515

Luca is no longer here and the house feels so empty.    I was not happy about bringing him to the adoption event; however, it went SO much better than I could ever have imagined.   First of all, his foster met me with a hug and immediately took me into the air-conditioned trailer to put him in a crate, where I said goodbye and left him with his favorite towel and doggie bed.   He is NOT up for adoption right now.     She and one of the other fosters sat down with me to go over all of his behaviors and they immediately said they need to observe him and update his profile.   Apparently, when a dog is given back, the profile automatically goes back up; however, she said that any inquirers are told that he's not available at the moment.     They agree that he should NOT be going into a home with kids and that they'll be keeping him for awhile before deciding if he should be re-homed or just stay with the foster.  

She was very eager to learn more about the Sound Beginning program (I just can't say enough good things about them!).   I was confused, as these were not the vibes I was getting all week.  She explained that they are inundated with emails and that it's hard to keep contact that way - they prefer to go over these things in person.   I asked her to please just let people know this because it is SO easy to think the worst, esp. when concerns appear to be glossed over via email/text or when calls are not returned.  

Of course, I broke down several times.   I love that little guy.   I want him to be happy.   I want him not to be stressed or grumpy.   It didn't help that he cried and yelped all the way there.  :_(

She said that we are making the best decision, that she feels we went above and beyond what we needed to do and that we're always welcome to adopt another dog from them free of charge.   Of course, I am just not there yet - Luca was our forever doggy.   I actually miss him (though I do not miss his aggressive little tantrums!).   I think it's going to take some time to get out of the routine we'd built.   I wonder how many times I'll put my shoes on for a potty walk or reach for his bag of FreshPet at dinner time before I remember that he's not here.  

Aaaaand now I'm crying again.  

 

Awww, I'm SO, SO SORRY!  h:hug:I know this has been so difficult for you and your family.  You are such a wonderful person to do what is best for Luca.  That is what you have done.  I'm so glad that all went well.  He is going to be fine, I'm sure of it.  Hang in there!  It will get easier.  

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Missysmom

Oh Mary I'm so sorry this experience affected the children so badly, but it's totally understandable. I do hope they will, after being around some more awesome doggy love, come around to wanting another doggy. But I know it will take time for everyone to get over this. 

I am so glad Luca is with a different foster mom and am quite sure her experience so far is just what you said, he is on his best behavior right now. But it's also just her so who knows he may be ok with just one person and no children or other pets. That may be exactly what his profile needs to be. I do hope he finds the situation right for him.

Continued prayers for a total healing for you and your family. Hugs

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