Jump to content

Scared of things-it's becoming a problem


Recommended Posts

ShihTzusAreCute

So, Lexie has always been afraid of fireworks(well loud noises in general) and of some of the bigger dogs but I feel the list of stuff she fears has gotten longer over the years. Nohing in her life has changed. Some fears I understand: some poorly raised kids scared her a few times while out on walks, two stray female dogs nearly bit her a few times. Others I don't get and I wouldn't mind really (afraid of bikes or huge trashcans-sometimes-) but here's the problem: there's a little girl in a wheelchair on our street and Lexie's first instinct is to bark and back away in fear of the chair. Now if it were an adult it would still be bad but this is a child. I have picked Lexie up and taken her near the girl immediately each time, so she didn't notice her initial reaction and then Lexie was good about letting the girl pet her but do you see how this is a problem? My dog cannot be making children feel self conscious or upestting them. Any advice/opinion would be appreciated. Thank you!

  • Like 7
Link to post
Share on other sites
Sophie's Haven

My Sophie is the same way..........the older she gets the worse she gets. She is cautious on everything she does and she avoids anything that is strange to her. She is also a creature of habit for example if she is on the porch, she does not do steps so we have to take her down but will only allow us to pick her up from the right side of the steps and not the left......I found that the more I forced her to attempt anything the worse she got......so I have just let her be. In the case of the wheelchair maybe when she starts to react......kneel down to her level and calm her down from barking and just sit with her to show her she has nothing to fear......let her make the first move.....Sophie was fine until she was about 2 we had a hail storm and we have sky lites in our great room and the noise was so loud that it sounded like the glass was breaking and she freaked out and has been cautious/nervous ever since.

  • Like 6
Link to post
Share on other sites
ShihTzusAreCute
1 hour ago, Jo-Anne said:

Is Lexie on leash or off while barking and turning away from the weelchair?

On leash. The only times she is off leash outdoors is when we are in a fenced yard or inside the big park we usually take her in the morning.

1 hour ago, Sophie's Haven said:

My Sophie is the same way..........the older she gets the worse she gets. She is cautious on everything she does and she avoids anything that is strange to her. She is also a creature of habit for example if she is on the porch, she does not do steps so we have to take her down but will only allow us to pick her up from the right side of the steps and not the left......I found that the more I forced her to attempt anything the worse she got......so I have just let her be. In the case of the wheelchair maybe when she starts to react......kneel down to her level and calm her down from barking and just sit with her to show her she has nothing to fear......let her make the first move.....Sophie was fine until she was about 2 we had a hail storm and we have sky lites in our great room and the noise was so loud that it sounded like the glass was breaking and she freaked out and has been cautious/nervous ever since.

Thank you! My concern is that if I get down to calm her, the little girl will notice. I just do not want this little girl to see that my dog is afaid of her wheelchair. I would guess it's tough enough knowing she is different without my dog reminding her of that. She is a lovely girl and pets Lexie very gently every time which is so much more than I can say about the spoiled brats that made Lexie fearful in the first place. I'm sorry to speak that way about kids, I know it is not their fault, it's the parents that anger me really. When you  as a parent see your child chasing my dog with a toy, poised to throw said toy at Lexie and growling like mad  or chasing Lexie and being angry that she won't sit still to be petted(shocker) or aiming to kick her and you sit there and laugh it off...:mad:  Don't get me wrong most kids and their parents are very nice, the trouble is I have yet to find a way to explain to my dog that those mean kids are the exception and she now pretty much fears most kids. I am sorry for the rant :(

  • Like 6
Link to post
Share on other sites

How old is Lexie again? I'm wondering if shes having vision issues that are making her skittish...just a thought.

  • Like 6
Link to post
Share on other sites
ShihTzusAreCute
7 minutes ago, Sunlite said:

How old is Lexie again? I'm wondering if shes having vision issues that are making her skittish...just a thought.

She is almost four. Oh God, should I have her checked? Or is there a way I can test for that at home?

  • Like 5
Link to post
Share on other sites
Missysmom

OH poor Lexie I hate that she is so scared now, that's sad that kids do stuff like that. But Missy's had it happen too, especially in stores kids run up Sooo fast and scare her to pieces, she ends up hiding behind me.. :( 

i mostly did hand tests for my dogs vision when they got older- not that Lexie is old she certainly isn't, mine were more like 10 when I did those. I know it's not as accurate as at the vets but at least I can tell if they're following with their eyes. You're probably going to want to have the vet do an eye test in the end though to be sure.

my only thought for the little girl in the wheelchair is maybe when Lexie barks, if the girl notices, say something like 'oh she wants to say hi to you' then reach down and get Lexie? I bet after a few times of her petting Lexie she will be fine though, they seem to have a great memory of who's nice to them! :) 

  • Like 7
Link to post
Share on other sites
Shihtzumummy2
12 hours ago, ShihTzusAreCute said:

So, Lexie has always been afraid of fireworks(well loud noises in general) and of some of the bigger dogs but I feel the list of stuff she fears has gotten longer over the years. Nohing in her life has changed. Some fears I understand: some poorly raised kids scared her a few times while out on walks, two stray female dogs nearly bit her a few times. Others I don't get and I wouldn't mind really (afraid of bikes or huge trashcans-sometimes-) but here's the problem: there's a little girl in a wheelchair on our street and Lexie's first instinct is to bark and back away in fear of the chair. Now if it were an adult it would still be bad but this is a child. I have picked Lexie up and taken her near the girl immediately each time, so she didn't notice her initial reaction and then Lexie was good about letting the girl pet her but do you see how this is a problem? My dog cannot be making children feel self conscious or upestting them. Any advice/opinion would be appreciated. Thank you!

Oh dear I do feel for you, I have seen this very issue develop over the last five and a half years with Bob. When we first got Bob and Sam, they were both outgoing and fun loving. However we did notice that Bob would yap at the very moment anything like noise or movement occured that he was unsure of. He was never afraid of thunder, or fireworks, but overhead noises such as a top dressing aircraft of which we get heaps over our farm. Then he developed fear of people, baby strollers, or scooters, bicycles, you name it he developed phobias over his lifetime.  He is not afraid of dogs at all. He is scared stiff of new people or anyone coming to the house that he doesn't know. I have to put him in either the outside pen,  or his indoor crate, but he just shivers, sometimes he will poo himself in fear. Always he hyperventilates, and even out on our walks if someone happens to appear he will try to turn around to go home. This is the reason we bought the pet buggy. He loves it, I believe it's because he feels secure in it, and it's up higher than the ground. I think its a combination of his visual stimulation and his brain trying to compute too much outside stimulous. Once he is familiar with visitors he is fine, very comfortable with them, but not until he is ready, and that can take more than an hour for him to calm down and come into the house or to come out of his crate. We have tried everything apart from sedatives which I am totally against. So, no day is the same with him, today it could be a child riding a bike in our area, or the noise from the golfers playing  game. He hates travel, loathes the car, hates anything that is out of his comfort zone. We can't predict what he is going to be afraid of on any given day. Hence the buggy. We have decided he is a house dog, a garden dog, and a dog who loves his own property, owners and family members. He always wants to go for his walk,  but once out of our gates, the behaviour begins. We love him, and will do anything to make him happy, but I will not allow him to spoil our daily lives. He comes with us regardless, and now with the buggy, he is happy, we are happy, and our little Martha is getting all the stimulous she requires in spite of Bobs reluctance to join in. I hope I haven't depressed anyone, but I do hope that you will see that you aren't alone in this at all. All of these things happened over Bobs five and a half years of life, I do believe my boy has severe psychological problems, but no matter,  until we can't deal with him as he is, we will try to just accept that, this is him, and he is ours so that is how it is for us all.

10 hours ago, Sophie's Haven said:

My Sophie is the same way..........the older she gets the worse she gets. She is cautious on everything she does and she avoids anything that is strange to her. She is also a creature of habit for example if she is on the porch, she does not do steps so we have to take her down but will only allow us to pick her up from the right side of the steps and not the left......I found that the more I forced her to attempt anything the worse she got......so I have just let her be. In the case of the wheelchair maybe when she starts to react......kneel down to her level and calm her down from barking and just sit with her to show her she has nothing to fear......let her make the first move.....Sophie was fine until she was about 2 we had a hail storm and we have sky lites in our great room and the noise was so loud that it sounded like the glass was breaking and she freaked out and has been cautious/nervous ever since.

I wish I could pin point what brought Bob's phobias on, but like Sophie Bob just got worse and worse each year! So very sad to see such a gorgeous wee boy, scared out of his life of daily and ordinary things ,

  • Like 6
Link to post
Share on other sites

Have you tried something like a thundershirt? Heard they work wonders...

  • Like 5
Link to post
Share on other sites
Shihtzumummy2
24 minutes ago, Sunlite said:

Have you tried something like a thundershirt? Heard they work wonders...

Yes we bought one for him, but it didn't work with him, he got more stressed out each time we put it on him, after the trial period we returned it, got a full refund.   

 

 

 

  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites

IME it's pretty typical for dogs who have a tendency toward being fearful to get worse as time goes by unless they're given effective treatment and training.

I know mine may not be a popular opinion, but I've seen too many dogs live miserable lives due to fear issues -- If I had one I'd be trying every anti-anxiety medication approved for use in canines until I found one that worked. And then I'd be working on desensitization and retraining. The medication is crucial, IMO. A stressed brain cannot effectively learn different ways of being. It just can't. That's true of dogs and people.  The brain gets caught in an endless loop of fear/anxiety and something has to break that loop before it can be overcome. I wouldn't not seek pharmaceutical help for a dog with fear/phobia/anxiety anymore than I wouldn't not seek pharmaceutical help for a physical condition like diabetes, kidney or liver issues, etc. The brain is an organ, too.

  • Like 6
Link to post
Share on other sites
19 hours ago, ShihTzusAreCute said:

On leash. The only times she is off leash outdoors is when we are in a fenced yard or inside the big park we usually take her in the morning.

  it's the parents that anger me really. the trouble is I have yet to find a way to explain to my dog that those mean kids are the exception and she now pretty much fears most kids. 

Okay that is good..on leash.. :D so you can show her how it needs to be done. Please try..I know that is difficult..not to be angry at those parents.. don`t give them any attention at all..just think you are all crazy and I don`t want to have anything to do with you. For the weelchair..even the most well-mannered good trained dog can panic seeing a weelchair. I don`t think Lexie is afraid of the kid..but the weelchair could be an iron monster for Lexie  And of course those mean kids don`t help her, but I sure do think she can make a difference..she knows where or what love is..the breed can simply recognize that anywhere. One thing you could try is to talk to your neighbour, and find if they are willing to let Lexie have a quiet look at only the weelchair..without your little neighbour girl in it. On leash you go and sniff with her Mum! Very important is to walk on by the weelchair a couple of times at first..

  • Like 6
Link to post
Share on other sites
ShihTzusAreCute

Thank you! I will look into desensitization and retraining and I'll see if Lexie can just examine the wheelchair for a little bit. I'll talk with the vet too, see what she suggests as well, regarding the anxiety. What baffles me is that she only has these reaction to some people/objects.

  • Like 6
Link to post
Share on other sites
Crinkly

Hi,

This may seem a bit left field, but I really believe that nutrition has a huge to do with the way pets brains age.

The thing that convinced me of this was watching our two cats age.  Both of them were little tyrants with their food.  I started both of them off on splendid diets, very well balanced, good quality, etc. etc.  But as they got older and started visiting our neighbours and getting stealing vile cheap junk food, they became more and more difficult to feed.  I was faced with a period of several years when Toed ate more at a neighbours(pseudo meat chunks in jelly sachets) than he would at mine (expensive kibble, chicken wings and raw frozen foods), while Sidney simply refused to eat unless it was Whiskas Supermeat tins.  That lead to a crisis when they changed the recipe!

Eventually, Toed got so old and senile that he couldn't get out over the garden wall, and I had a captive audience - and he went onto Raw.

- and you know what?  His mental and physical deterioration stopped dead.  He lived for years.  Still senile, still brain dead and OCD with the kind of routine I associate with Aspergers, but he didn't deteriorate!

Then last year, when Sidney was housebound for a while due to paw injury, his health improved astonishingly.  Bright eyes, claws, sparkling fur. Stir crazy from confinement, and with a sore paw, but boy was he healthy with it!

Sorry about all the detail, but I wanted to lay the ground for suggesting that if you feed brain food (omega 3s, and all the extra minerals and nutrients that may be missing in processed foods) then you may find that Bob's behaviour does not deteriorate so fast, and he may have increased brain function to cope with any new training or  changes in routine that you introduce.  

I agree with all the suggestions above, but the extra effort of superb nutrition is an investment that really pays off.  No vet ever believed how old Toed and Sidney were.  The last time Toed was at the vets, the man guessed he was 12, when he was actually 19 years.  And then he didn't believe me when I told him!  lol.

Forgive me if you are already doing this!  I have no idea what diet you are feeding, but I am convinced (even with my two on a raw prey model diet) I still think there must be something more I could do... :roflmao:

  • Like 8
Link to post
Share on other sites
ShihTzusAreCute

Thanks, I will definitely look into a suplement. I gave her salmon oil for a while and her fur did become shinier and she ate her food better so I might try adding it again to her diet :)

  • Like 5
Link to post
Share on other sites
Crinkly

:D  i read somewhere (but i have never actually checked up on it!) that the human brain is largely made of fat - and a lot of it is omega 3s.

presumably cats and dogs will have a smilar makeup... - i've never been a fan of low fat.  I just make sure i eat good quality, nutritious, vitamin carrying fats. :)

  • Like 6
Link to post
Share on other sites
Shihtzumummy2
8 hours ago, Pawz4me said:

IME it's pretty typical for dogs who have a tendency toward being fearful to get worse as time goes by unless they're given effective treatment and training.

I know mine may not be a popular opinion, but I've seen too many dogs live miserable lives due to fear issues -- If I had one I'd be trying every anti-anxiety medication approved for use in canines until I found one that worked. And then I'd be working on desensitization and retraining. The medication is crucial, IMO. A stressed brain cannot effectively learn different ways of being. It just can't. That's true of dogs and people.  The brain gets caught in an endless loop of fear/anxiety and something has to break that loop before it can be overcome. I wouldn't not seek pharmaceutical help for a dog with fear/phobia/anxiety anymore than I wouldn't not seek pharmaceutical help for a physical condition like diabetes, kidney or liver issues, etc. The brain is an organ, too.

I do agree with you about medication, Bob has been on meds for his anxiety, and is on Omega 3 supliments, but with the medication he ended up like a zombie. We tried different doses, different brands, you name it we tried it all through our Vets. We also had an animal behaviourist come to our home, we tried diversional therapy, we even tried it away from home. At the end of the day as I said earlier, he is happy and playful in his own environment, and now with the pet buggy he is much happier being up off the ground rather than on it. He is a very well behaved dog as long as he isn't  forced into things he just doesn't like, and when children rush up to him thinking he is a cuddly puppy, he just hates it. Their shrill squeals freaked Sam out too, not just Bob. Yet Sam did not have anxiety, I truly think just like humans, he is as he is and we work around it. I also believe because he is small, the height of people towering over him and too much activity around him unnerves him, now sitting up high in the bugger he can see things, and seems to be able to cope with the stimulous much better. I feed them high quality food, I don't believe his nutrition is an issue, we had blood work done on him and his levels are all fine. I do thank you for your comments.

  • Like 7
Link to post
Share on other sites
Sophie's Haven
56 minutes ago, Shihtzumummy2 said:

I do agree with you about medication, Bob has been on meds for his anxiety, and is on Omega 3 supliments, but with the medication he ended up like a zombie. We tried different doses, different brands, you name it we tried it all through our Vets. We also had an animal behaviourist come to our home, we tried diversional therapy, we even tried it away from home. At the end of the day as I said earlier, he is happy and playful in his own environment, and now with the pet buggy he is much happier being up off the ground rather than on it. He is a very well behaved dog as long as he isn't  forced into things he just doesn't like, and when children rush up to him thinking he is a cuddly puppy, he just hates it. Their shrill squeals freaked Sam out too, not just Bob. Yet Sam did not have anxiety, I truly think just like humans, he is as he is and we work around it. I also believe because he is small, the height of people towering over him and too much activity around him unnerves him, now sitting up high in the bugger he can see things, and seems to be able to cope with the stimulous much better. I feed them high quality food, I don't believe his nutrition is an issue, we had blood work done on him and his levels are all fine. I do thank you for your comments.

My Bailey is the same way but the reason for his behavior is he came from an abusive situation and time and patience with him  he is happy and comfortable in his surroundings here at home and I can live with that.  I do take him out in public but he goes in his pet buggy as he feels safe in it.....where he can be looked at but not touched.  He is one excited boy though when we pull in the driveway cause he knows he is home where he feels safe and secure.......

  • Like 6
Link to post
Share on other sites
Shihtzumummy2
11 minutes ago, Sophie's Haven said:

My Bailey is the same way but the reason for his behavior is he came from an abusive situation and time and patience with him  he is happy and comfortable in his surroundings here at home and I can live with that.  I do take him out in public but he goes in his pet buggy as he feels safe in it.....where he can be looked at but not touched.  He is one excited boy though when we pull in the driveway cause he knows he is home where he feels safe and secure.......

Awwwwwwww bless him, he sounds just like my little Bob, honestly he is so happy in his buggy, and at the moment with Martha being so young, she too likes it after she has walked as far as she can manage lol. 

  • Like 5
Link to post
Share on other sites
ShihTzusAreCute

Well she is making a liar out of me :roflmao: We had a perfectly nice walk this morning. She was not afraid of bikes and when a dog barked at her, while she did try to run away at first, I managed to gently coax her into passing him by with minimal drama. I am still looking into everyhting we talked about but my point is, I feel hopeful this morning :)

  • Like 7
Link to post
Share on other sites

One thing to consider is that sometimes when dogs react to things when they're on leash it's because of our behavior. And I'm talking even incredibly tiny things you might not even be aware you're doing. One of my previous dogs was leash reactive to other dogs. I knew intellectually that tightening up on the leash was a very bad thing, as he interpreted it as me starting off a glaring alarm or a sign flashing "Danger! Danger!" in big red letters. ;) Yes, I understood that on an intellectual level. Easy. So I avoided doing anything overt in my body posture to communicate tension to him. But it took me months and months to realize that subconsciously every time I saw a dog approaching I was clenching my hand tighter around the leash (not tightening it up or drawing him closer to me, just clenching my hand tighter where I was already holding the leash). But he knew. Even just tightening my grip was like sending a telegraph down the leash to him -- "Danger!" "Danger!" Once I realized that and got better about not doing it he improved. Not a miracle or anything, but definite improvement.

All that to say -- sometimes when we're puzzled about their behavior we need to closely examine OUR behavior!

  • Like 8
Link to post
Share on other sites
ShihTzusAreCute
23 hours ago, Pawz4me said:

One thing to consider is that sometimes when dogs react to things when they're on leash it's because of our behavior. And I'm talking even incredibly tiny things you might not even be aware you're doing. One of my previous dogs was leash reactive to other dogs. I knew intellectually that tightening up on the leash was a very bad thing, as he interpreted it as me starting off a glaring alarm or a sign flashing "Danger! Danger!" in big red letters. ;) Yes, I understood that on an intellectual level. Easy. So I avoided doing anything overt in my body posture to communicate tension to him. But it took me months and months to realize that subconsciously every time I saw a dog approaching I was clenching my hand tighter around the leash (not tightening it up or drawing him closer to me, just clenching my hand tighter where I was already holding the leash). But he knew. Even just tightening my grip was like sending a telegraph down the leash to him -- "Danger!" "Danger!" Once I realized that and got better about not doing it he improved. Not a miracle or anything, but definite improvement.

All that to say -- sometimes when we're puzzled about their behavior we need to closely examine OUR behavior!

 I totally agree. I know part of her fear of big dogs is me picking her up preventively while passing a big stray dog, after having almost being bitten twice. I try not to do it of course but when I see a dog aproaching in an aggressive manner, what am I supposed to do? I'm ok when it's a male dog, they usually just want to play.

  • Like 6
Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, ShihTzusAreCute said:

 I totally agree. I know part of her fear of big dogs is me picking her up preventively while passing a big stray dog, after having almost being bitten twice. I try not to do it of course but when I see a dog aproaching in an aggressive manner, what am I supposed to do? I'm ok when it's a male dog, they usually just want to play.

I don't think I can tell you or anyone else what to do. Those types of episodes are so dependent on the particular situation, your confidence in dealing with your own dog and the dog(s) charging you, the time you have to consider how to react, etc.

In the past few months Yogi and I have been charged twice, once by two loose pitbull type dogs and once by only one of them (neighbor down the street who finally put in a sturdy fence!). What I did each time was to step in between Yogi and the dog(s) and stand my ground. Still as a statute but unafraid. Which I wasn't, simply because I didn't have time to be. Both incidents were split second type things. Both times everything worked out fine (other than I had a bruised knee from the pitty making contact the second time). But honestly my reaction both times was a simple gut reaction. I didn't have time to formulate a plan. It worked out fine for us because (1) the dogs are, I think, much more bluster than bite and (2) Yogi is pretty bomb proof. He was neither scared nor particularly interested in the dogs rushing at us. He didn't bark or cower, but like me he just stood there. I don't think that had much of anything to do with his training. It's just his basic personality. When the dog(s) ran away we continued on our walk, as normally as possible. i knew if I didn't make any fuss about it he'd quickly forget it. We still walk by that house every single day and he doesn't react.

But there's no doubt we were lucky in both incidents. Things could have turned out vastly different. And if I (or Yogi) had reacted in a different way there could have been a different outcome. Or maybe not -- maybe the dog(s) still would have gone back into their yard. Maybe all they really wanted was to rush us and bark. You just can't know for sure.

But really -- Nobody can tell you how to react in an aggressive dog situation. You can think it over in your head and come up with various plans and debate the merits of picking up your dog or not -- one thing to keep in mind there is that if you pick her up and the dog jumps to get at her you may get knocked over and end up trying to protect both of you while you're on the ground (definitely not a good situation to be in). But no matter how well you pre-plan stuff like that you just don't know what the individual circumstances of an encounter will be--whether it will be one dog or a pack or how much time you'll have to react. And those things matter.

  • Like 7
Link to post
Share on other sites

 

4 hours ago, ShihTzusAreCute said:

 course but when I see a dog aproaching in an aggressive manner, what am I supposed to do? 

Should I pick my dog up or not? in a poll on a Dutch forum a lot of the small dog owners said YES I would and I am doing that. One reason is that the small dog can never defend her or himself against an approaching agressive dog. Trainers could show and work with the owner first, get his or her self-confidance up so that mom or dad is pretty much certain of what he or she is doing if they pick up their dogs.. dogs can notice if you are not up to it. 

Wouldn`t people pick up their child too in a bad situation, this is a baby we are talking about to give him a chance you might have no other option at that moment.

And I agree nobody can tell you what to do..every situation is one on his own.. and boy can there be some bad ones :blush: But I made a habbit out of it to calm and gently pick him up.. defend him with my life so to speak :D 

 

  • Like 5
Link to post
Share on other sites
ShihTzusAreCute

I am really sorry if I came off as defensive or aggressive or something by saying "What am I supposed to do?". Please keep in mind English is not my first language so I don't always immediately realise what I sound like.

  • Like 5
Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...