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  2. Pawz4me

    NILIF and husband

    In an ideal world your husband would participate fully in NILIF. But in the real world . . . the core of what you're working on is Jasper's relationship with YOU. Dogs are very relational. Yogi acts differently for me than he does with my husband. He acts differently with each of our sons. That's normal. Keep working on his relationship with you.
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  4. Jasper, Is on NILIF. He has been on for no more than 3 weeks. I still go back to the link to refresh my memory. I was slacking on ignoring him. He brings his toys to me, stares, barks and talks to get attention. I have ignored it as much as my heart will allow. I had my husband go over the rules again also. I have decided to ignore him more than I have been. Jasper comes over to me and does all his little tricks and still jumps up on the couch still sometimes. I am ignoring his behavior and trying not to make eye contact as much as possible. I am noticing more and more that, the more I don’t pay any attention to Jasper, he’s going over to my husband and getting his needs met with him. I have explained to my husband what stage we are in, with NILIF. He says ok . Then does everything the opposite. This has made me very upset. Now, when I don’t pay attention to jasper , he runs to my husband. He takes him toys to play. My husband doesn’t play ball. Although , he does give him the pets and rubs he like. And he talks to him all the time. He also lets Jasper lay with him when He forces his bossy littles self on to my husband lap. How can I make ignoring work for me if my husband is not paying attention to the rules? My husband, works from home so he’s always home except, when he goes out of town. When Jasper doesn’t get on the couch or on his little bed I made him , he goes to my husband to get talked to and petted. This seems like it’s not looking good for me. I have never been able to count on my husband. He says he’s on board then the next day he has forgotten or mayb he sees it as too much trouble. No sure. What can I do if my husband won’t follow the rules? He know how important this is to me. Jasper treats my husband better. He has bitten him, not like he does me. Is NILIF going to fail.
  5. Hello Jo, I really cant do anything with him that involves petting him. once time i was sitting, he stood up, put his paws on my knee. I was petting the side of his stomach, i wasnt doing it hard. He all of a sudden turned around and started biting me and lunged at me. I have only rubbed his tummy when he was a little pup. When I have tried to touch his tummy he looks down at my hand and is ready to bite. I put a jacket on him when he has a fresh short hair cut. He will let me put it on. But I am afraid to take it off. If we are in the car, i can touch him all over and he does not try to bite. There is a lot of bad incidences. They always end up with me having bloody hands. I always made sure to touch him all over. I know this is the way you get him used being touched. His groomer has no problem with him, neither does the Vet. Its mostly me that gets all the bites. Let me tell you he does not fool around when he bites. He has been staying on his little bed Instead of the couch, He does the commands by himself, I do not have to say it when hes about ready for me to serve him. I do wonder if NILIF is going to stop his vicious biting? Ive run out of options. We do not have money for a private trainer. He started training classes as soon as he was old enough. So i have really been proactive with him. I now just work around him so i do not get bit. I have never cared about a dog as much as i care for him. I have done and still do a lot of crying. Any suggestions or comments welcome
  6. I would say that if the nilif practice is working, then stick with it - for ever. And keep the leash on until you are confident that he will willingly behave without biting you. Could take months. Consistency is everything with them. Like children, establishing and keeping firm boundaries makes everyone happy, because everyone knows how it all works, and know what is acceptable. And they know what happens when they misbehave. It gives security.
  7. Hi Crinkly, great to hear from you. With my husband he sometimes is up in his face loving on him. Jaspers never done that with me. My husband gets angry when he won’t get off him. Now that he has the leash on , I tell him to use the leash. My husband did get him to go to the foot of the bed , no problem. He doesn’t really bother me . So he has bitten me in bed once. A very long time ago. I was trying to give him his meds . He was sick. On one of my posts , I also talk about how much Jasper loves my husband and has bitten my husband about 3 times. But he bites me a lot. I’m the one who does everything for him. I got some good advice from Pawz, on the subject. I take him and Leo my older shih tzu places with me. I have Jasper sit then the down command before he gets in the car . He likes to sit in the back. He is really good in the car . When Jasper and I are together in the car, he is very lovable towards me. Anytime we are out some place, he lets me touch him all over. When we are home he doesn’t like me to touching his tail. He will look back at me and then look at his tail. Any advice or comments welcome
  8. How does he behave on the bed? Does he try and control the space? Does he bite you on the bed? Or is he gentle and respectful?
  9. Hi Jo, Thank you very much for your post. I am new to the forum, and I am enjoying it very much. I had never heard of NILIF until this forum. Pawz introduced me. Jasper is on a leash at all times. I am working on being consistent with him. It is a little harder then I thought, he is adorable, except for the biting. I am doing good keeping him off the couch even though it breaks my heart. Right at the foot of the couch, near my computer (not even a foot away) is his blankies all laid out for him. He is getting used to it. Although, it has not been long. When, bedtime comes he has to sit then down. I know i am not doing this part right but, I can not find the heart to keep him off. I have an older shih tzu Leo, and an older cat Peanut that sleep on the bed as well. Our bed is a little high. i really can not see leaving him out. I can make him his bed right on the carpet next to me? Hes been in our bed since, we first brought him home. He did sleep in his zipper crate. but it was on the bed, in the middle of my husband and I. Please, any suggestions for us, are much appreciated.
  10. Earlier
  11. Hi Lisa, I've just read this thread with interest. It looks to me as if you have a few problems - which the nilif program should help with tremendously. He needs to learn that you are in charge and control everything. He only gets the things he wants if he pleases YOU. In the post I have quoted above, I will tell you what I would do in that circumstance (dog thinking it 'owns' my glass end table, and thinking that he can sit on it whenever he likes). Firstly, I would put a leash on him, so that I can control him without getting close enough to get bitten. Then I would wait for the next time he climbs on the table (just the first time. From now on he never gets on that table without your permission). Then I would take the leash in my hand, and firmly say ''Off!' and pull him down off the table (taking care not to hurt him, and to allow him to get down safely). This creates a memory in his head of HAVING to follow your orders. Then every time I saw him thinking about getting onto the table, I would say 'No!' loudly and firmly. I would also put out an arm to block his access to the table. If I entered the room and found him on the table (or he sneaks onto it when I wasn't noticing) I would take the leash in my hand, say 'Jasper OFF!' and pull him down onto the floor, safely and gently. This would keep your hands out of bite range, teach him that he must obey your commands, and teach him that his body must follow your spoken instructions. It may take a while, but eventually he will associate your voice and the words 'NO!' and 'OFF!' with you owning the table. You can do the same thing with the bed, the sofa, chairs and any other piece of furniture. They are yours, not his. You own them, even when you are not sitting on them, and he will eventually learn this. You will need to be consistent, and you will have to practice speaking to him in a firm commanding voice. There is no need to tell him off. You just firmly but gently pull him off the furniture so that he has to do what you say. He has no choice in this. YOU are in charge. Does he have a nice comfy bed nearby that he can go to instead of the furniture? Somewhere that he is allowed to sleep in (even if you OWN that too, and allow him to use it?). Something with a toy, and a chew? Somewhere that is actually nicer than a nasty old glass table, that he only ever wanted to lie on because it made him feel like he was the boss of you? ;)
  12. What else can I do to get through to jasper? I’m missing so much with him. Before I found chatter tzu , I had come to the conclusion that jasper is alway going to bite me. Since he’s always going to be in my life I, I had to get use to the way he is and live with it. i was on the computer to find out why jasper wouldn’t get up and move around after a short haircut. I found my answers. I then started looking through shih tzu forums . I came across chatter tzu. I read a story about a dog named Sadie . I felt relief that there is another dog out there like jasper. To be honest I feel nothing will fix Jasper. That’s who he is and I must work around him like I have been. i Try a different approach each time and nothing. NILIF sounds to good to be true. Jasper and I have started it. I will do everything I need to to work it. I won’t give up on jasper. I have been asking myself , how can this technique get my dog to stop biting me? I do feel a lttle different about this technique.I know it will be a while before I see something in Jasper. If it doesn’t work I won’t love Jasper any less. I will have to continue on like before . Working around him. Jasper has won my heart no matter how much he bites me. But if I could get him not to bite it would give us a closer relationship . I worry , if something ever happens to him, he gets glass in a paw. How can I take care of him if he bites me when I touch his paws? NILIF. Is my last hope until I hear of another technique. All suggestions and tips are most welcome.
  13. Today Was kind of a quiet day for us. Jasper would get up on the couch , I would have to tell him to get off and he would. Sometimes he didn’t listen and I would use the leash. He did good staying on his blankets. We got to play a little. It was positive. I have to do my shoulder exercises twice a day. Jasper likes being in the middle of it. I notice whenever he thinks I’m not paying attention he gets back on the couch. I was on the computer, he jumped up on the couch. He had the leash around himself. I went to grab it at the end , I couldn’t find it. I grabbed it closer to his body and he tried to bite me. He was growling the whole time I was getting him off the couch. Earlier I was feeling bad , he was on the floor . I was about to let him up on the couch. He seems so happy doing things for me , I think he’s changing. Then he turns around and bites me. It is discouraging. I’ve read a lot of posts on this forum. I’ve only read a couple that have had an aggressive dog
  14. Jasper did do good today, so did Leo. When I come home from physical therapy , jasper is on the couch. He sees me, gets off the couch . He lays in front of the couch. I put his blankets down for him. He does jump back on , a lot but now I can grab his leash without his growling. Leo got off the car when I used the leash. No pulling.
  15. Got it. I’m at physical therapy . I had shoulder replacement . I know he’s running wild right now: but hen I do come home he is showing more discipline. I will be stern , not yell and step forward if he lunges. He does look at me in a mean way when he’s doing it. I will be brave pawz . Who knew, such a tiny dog could pack such a punch. Jasper does do good with a leash on. He does get excited when I ask him to perform a task. I just love him so.
  16. :my first text was a little off. He will put it on. He only has it on when he has a fresh haircut . Also when it’s cold at the time. When I’m tried to take it off he tried to bite All in all,. What do I do when he still lunges at me during his training? Ignore it? I’m not sure, I want to do the right thing?
  17. Yelling is counter productive. I try to never raise my voice with a dog. It's not needed and isn't helpful. Dogs are much more responsive to tone of voice than to volume. A very firm "no" or "stop it" or whatever term you prefer to use is generally much more effective. I'd also try to NOT back up. If anything step toward him, but at the very least stand your ground. Backing up is a defensive action and reinforces the notion that he's in charge. You want to do the opposite--get in his space. You control everything. And he needs to learn that. Backing up tells him he controls the space around him.
  18. He only wears his sweater when he has had a short haircut and it’s in winter. He growled at m and will hi e be when I m trying to take it off. L Did I do the right thing about the couch incident? (In my last post?)
  19. Yelling is counter productive. I try to never raise my voice with a dog. It's not needed and isn't helpful. Dogs are much more responsive to tone of voice than to volume. A very firm "no" or "stop it" or whatever term you prefer to use is generally much more effective. I'd also try to NOT back up. If anything step toward him, but at the very least stand your ground. Backing up is a defensive action and reinforces the notion that he's in charge. You want to do the opposite--get in his space. You control everything. And he needs to learn that. Backing up tells him he controls the space around him. I'm generally not fond of treating dogs like dolls and playing dress up. But that's just me and my opinion. I don't necessarily think there's anything wrong with it if you enjoy it and the dog isn't bothered by wearing things. Yogi has one warm sweater for walks if it's cold (less than 25 or so--he doesn't seem to get cold easily), and one rain coat for the rare times that's needed. Other than that I have no interest in treating him like a play doll. But I'm a bit confused -- are you saying that Jasper's fine with you putting things on him, and only ever reacts when you take them off? In any event, if clothing is a trigger, and since clothing is something that very few dogs have any true need for whatsoever, then I wouldn't be dressing him up until his attitude adjusts.
  20. This afternoon I needed to get jaspers jacket off. I held him by the leash. Before he didn’t mind me taking them off. They Velcro under the belly and around the neck. Not hard to put on or off. Anyhow, when I went to remove it he bit me. i am not sure how you feel about animals in clothing. My dogs usually wear bandanas when I take them with me places. That’s if I remember to put them on. I love little sweaters or shirts also. Jasper doesn’t like sweaters. When he just gets a haircut and it’s cold out, he has a sweater that Velcro’s in 2 places. Even holding the leash so he wouldn’t bite didn’t work. Now , I only put his sweatshirt on him when he has super short cuts and it’s cold. Other than that he doesn’t wear clothes. I learned my lesson when I put a harness on him when he was a pup. What should I have done to get the sweater off? I’m sure you must know the type of sweater. I worry if he were to get something in his paw , how would I address this type of issues . When I first brought him home I always rubbed his paws and held them . I use to rub him all over. He seemed to like it until he was about 6 months or so. I am missing out on so much with him
  21. This morning jasper, Leo and I went to the living room. Jasper jumped on the couch, I pulled him off by the leash. As soon as he was on the floor , he growled at me and was ready to bite me. I yelled at him and backed up. I’m not sure what I should have done ?
  22. It's perfectly normal to be impatient to see good results. That's human nature! But the answer is -- it just depends. You're right that the longer the behavior/bad attitude has been going on the longer it usually takes to fix. But some dogs are quick learners, some really thrive on the increased structure/discipline and are relieved to realize they don't have to be in charge. And some are so incredibly stubborn it takes a long time for them to give up on being the boss.
  23. I know it won’t be right of way. He has been biting for 2 yrs.a After asking that question and pushing send . It wish I wouldn’t have sent it. Im an impatient person . But I’m going do better. Thank you for being so helpful. I will be keeping you posted. I hope that’s okay with you? I know as the days go by i will have more questions .
  24. It does really hurt, knowing jasper prefers my husband. Jasper is suppose to be my last dog. I feel cheated . I’m ok with jasper wanting to lay with my husband at night. What I can’t except is his biting. This may sound mean . When jasper bit my husband I felt Some relief. Maybe he didn’t like him all that much after all. That was along time ago I thought that. I’m learning more about his biting. I’m really liking this NILIF method. I know we have barely started, it seems like a good fit. As long as I’m in the room jasper stays off the couch. I thought I was going to have a hard time keeping him off. He will keep the leash on for awhile. When we came to bed. I asked him to sit and then down. He didn’t want to do the down command . When jasper saw my husband get into bed he got excited. I Then gave jasper the commands again. He did then no problem. I was so happy . I didn’t want him to have to sleep beside the bed. How long will it take to see results?
  25. Yes, if your husband will join you in implementing NILIF as often as possible it will help. But even if it's just you doing it -- that's still good.
  26. This morning Jasper jumped on the couch. I grabbed his leash. The leash was under Jasper's bottom. When i was getting it from under him, he started biting my hands. I was quiet. He was lunging at me but i did not back down. I did not get away without bleeding but, i kept my cool. He is laying on his blankets on the floor at this time. When it is bedtime, Jasper does a command for me ,before getting in bed. When he comes to my husband to be petted, does Jasper do a command then he gets petted?
  27. I am starting to understand more. He just came up to me with his baby (stuffed dog) I asked him to sit, he didn’t so we’re not playing. If my husband isn’t always cooperative is this going to be a huge problem? He’s afraid of jasper too. My husband doesn’t listen when I say to do something a certain way. He lets jasper do whatever he wants because that is easier for him at the time. He wants him to stop with the biting as much as I do . What can or should I be doing to help this go smoothly? I know we only started a couple days ago
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